Saying NO can feel really hard. For many of us, saying NO doesn’t just feel awkward. It feels wrong.
If you have excessive urge to be agreeable you have to ask yourself why it was so important for you to please everyone. So, whenever anyone asks you to do almost anything, you might blurt out, “Yes! Sure! Of course! Happy to!” 

You are afraid saying NO because of fear being reject. You might say yes because you don’t want to be seen as difficult or you don’t want to disappoint a good friend or hurt someone’s feelings. 

Another reason you say yes, can be your past while growing up, you might have not learned to advocate for yourself.

It’s also possible that you say yes because you deeply want to help.

Here’s the good news: Saying NO is a skill you can sharpen. The more you say No, the more natural it’ll feel.

Saying No Doesn't Mean You're a Bad Person

If saying no is challenging for you, you're not alone.

Saying no is good.

Saying no is one of the best forms of self-care we can engage in, setting boundaries with loved ones and others.

Next is to know your value

You need to realize that you are valuable and choosing your own opinion about yourself over others.

You do not have to live your life depending on others approval.

If your opinion of yourself is low, remember that, your problems do not define you.
It’s okay to make mistakes. What makes a person great is not their looks or achievements, but their willingness to love others, be humble, and grow as a person. You are unique, valuable, and important. 

How do you know when to say NO

Start thinking about when it’s best for you to decline, ask yourself  questions anytime you’re not positive about how to proceed as:

• Will saying yes prevent me from focusing on something that’s more important?
• What are my core values, beliefs, and current goals?
• Will saying yes make me even more tired?
• In the past, when have I said yes and then ended up regretting it?

Besides exploring the above questions, I can help you to achieve it.

Think about the anguish, stress, and resentment that saying yes has caused you. Wouldn’t it be so much easier and straightforward to just say no in the first place?
You may find yourself feeling absolutely terrible about having said yes and you wished that you had just had the guts to say no from the beginning.

It really isn't worth it to say yes when you don’t want to.

Helpful Tips for Saying No

• Unfortunately, I’ll need to pass on this.”
• “I’m sorry, my friend, but I’m not able to.”
• “Sadly, I can’t.”
• “Thanks, but that’s not going to work for me.”
• “No, I’m not able to do that.”

​If you want  freedom and empowerment, then take control, challenge yourself, and learn to say NO.

Stress is the body's reaction to feeling threatened or under pressure. It usually happens when we are in a situation that we don't feel we can manage or control.

Whatever the cause, it’s likely you experience some level of stress on a daily basis. But while some day-to-day stress is normal (and can even be a good thing if it motivates you), chronic, overwhelming stress can have a negative impact on your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Knowing how to spot the signs and symptoms that you’re under too much stress can help you stay aware and address the issues before they harm your health.

Physical Signs
You might be overly stressed without even knowing it. Maybe you have specific physical symptoms and blame it on an illness or other condition. But the truth is, stress itself can cause problems in your organs, tissues, and just about every system in your body.

Depending on how you handle stress, you might have symptoms that affect everything from your hormones to your heart, and more.

Some of the physical signs that your stress levels are too high include:

Pain or tension in your head, chest, stomach, or muscles. Your muscles tend to tense up when you’re stressed, and over time this can cause headaches, migraines, or musculoskeletal problems.
Digestive problems. These can include diarrhoea and constipation, or nausea and vomiting. Stress can affect how quickly food moves through your system and the way your intestines absorb nutrients.
Reproductive issues. Stress can cause changes to your sex drive, and problems with irregular or painful periods in women.
Mental and Emotional Signs
Stress can also affect how you think and feel, making it tough to get through your normal responsibilities and make rational decisions.
Excessive stress may also affect your appetite, causing you to eat more or less than usual, and it may affect or eliminate your motivation to exercise and stay fit. 

Some of the psychological and emotional signs that you’re stressed out include:

• Depression or anxiety
• Anger, irritability, or restlessness
• Feeling overwhelmed, unmotivated, or unfocused
• Trouble sleeping or sleeping too much
• Racing thoughts or constant worry
• Trouble making decisions, solving problems, concentrating,

If you’re struggling with stress and don’t know how to cope, you may want to seek help.
Contact me if you need help, you can also use these programs in order to reduce your stress.

As we travel toward the Big Dream, what are the ingredients for a happy, meaningful and successful journey for us and others?

We can see two types of mindset

1. ​Fixed mindset - Believing that your qualities are carved in stone—the fixed mindset—creates an urgency to prove yourself over and over.
2. Growth mindset - The growth mindset is based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts. Although people may differ in every which way—in their initial talents and aptitudes, interests, or temperaments—everyone can change and grow through application and experience.
   

Adopting a growth mindset is key. It allows us, to focus on the process. As, "We are not there yet, we are learning, we will get there."

As we journey towards our Big Dream, here are ways to maintain a growth mindset:

• Be curious and flexible.  We can leverage the power of "not knowing." This opens up opportunities and allows for others to contribute to the efforts.
• Believe in yourself and others. Confidence shows up when we focus on the journey to mastery. Confidence is also nurtured through action, learning and being willing to take calculated risks.
• Embrace hope and compassion. Asking how we can best serve ourselves and others enhances our feelings of value, meaning and purpose.
• Maintain a positive inner work life. This is essential for a happy journey. It enhances our sense of contributing valuable work to the process for both ourselves and those we lead.
• Emphasize openness and ethics in the process. Are values stated clearly and understood by all stakeholders? Trust is critical for success, and this requires an open and inclusive process of input and feedback at every stage of the journey.
• Keep up your health and energy. Being in good health and having balanced physiology in order to carry out this work is also vital to achieving higher-level goals. You need sufficient energy to take action, feel positive and perform at your best over time!

A growth mindset requires openness, aspiration (a hope or ambition of achieving something), self-awareness, curiosity, and vulnerability. 

Get a short program to help yourself in your growth mindset here

What is motivation?

Motivation in the dictionary is a reason or reason for acting or behaving in a particular way.
"Escape can be a strong motivation for travel"

​Motivation is the emotional capacity, or the desire, to create, produce or get something done. -  seem that motivation is driven by the circumstances.

According to neuroscience research,  it's the neurotransmitters in our brains that determine motivation. These neurotransmitters send chemical messages to our brain and body that directly impact our behaviors, sleep, learning, memory, mood and motivation.

We can be motivated by two types of motivation:

• Intrinsic motivation applies to tasks that we're genuinely interested in and value as relevant to our sense of identity. This is an internal process.
• Extrinsic motivation is an external factor that might be driving us to do something, such as money, societal pressure, external expectations or reward systems.​

Extrinsic motivation can increase productivity in mundane, repetitive tasks that don't require much cognitive load. However, it can reduce motivation and performance in more cognitive and creative tasks.

On the other hand, intrinsic motivation is more effective for tasks requiring thought, planning, challenge and learning. When we tap into our internal/neural reward system, we perform better and are more satisfied.

Do you need to make a decision that aligns with your WHY?

• You first need to know WHY you want that particular outcome. - Our WHY is what motivates us to get out of bed when a duvet day is way more appealing.

​Do you need help to figure out the right direction and goals for you?
What outcomes are you looking for?

Are you ready to start working on your mindset?
It's time to become fearlessly!

SCHEDULE A DISCOVERY SESSION or REACH OUT TO US

​For many, a new normal might be to continue their newfound love of cycling, or horse riding, for others, it might be more regular walks. 

But less-active activities have also increased. DIY is planned to be carried out by 74% of households during the lockdown. Just showing how much we put off until we “have the time”

So what have you changed during the lockdown? What have you not changed but will as soon as it is lifted? How are you going to spend your time after it? How could I help you?

Please comment below and pass this on to others.

 Is having goals really necessary?

It's a great question. And one that's often asked by those who for one reason or another avoid having goals, even at the start of a new year.

Many people think goals are too restricting. Some people are afraid of failure or see the whole process of choosing and planning goal it's a bit scary, unnecessary or too unsettling. And others think it's much easier to just "go with the flow."

Goals should not be scary or restricting. Setting and achieving goals is simply a fantastic way of defining what you want to do or what you want to have more of—or less of—in your life. And then planning the path to make that happen.

Think about it. Have you ever set goals but never seem to achieve them? Do you ever get the feeling that you don’t get time to work on your goals? Or you feel overwhelmed and caught up in the daily routine of life that never accommodates for your goals?

The new year is here, and you should have already set your goals, but do not panic you can still do it if you did not. And this year—more than ever—we’re all ready to embrace the fresh, new year with the hope of what could be. And a huge part of that is goal setting.

Yes, most of our goals for 2020 was messed up, but we should not stay in negativity but start thinking it over and setting goals for 2021 

So this year, take some time to really think about those goals.  And remember, just having good intentions alone changes nothing.

Some benefits of goals

• Having goals means that you'll be the star in your own life. You get to direct events rather than have life's events direct you.
• A firm goal gives you a context to define and track your progress on the way to the desired outcome.
• Achieving a goal is a great reason to celebrate how far you've come.
• Carefully chosen, realistic goals can end the cycle of failure around hurried New Year's resolutions.
• Achieving a goal, however small, will increase your confidence to go forward to even bigger things.

Be Specific
What do you want to achieve?  Watch for any roadblocks that could keep you from reaching your goal.

Make Goals into a bit size
Give yourself daily, weekly and monthly steps. Set a time limit—because you need a finish line. Get them down on paper along with all the steps. 

Carefully planning the steps towards achieving your goal won't stop you from making mistakes and going up blind alleys, but it sure helps. 
Along the way, you may well change the substance of your goals, or how they'll be achieved, and this is normal. Goals give direction and focus to your journey through life. And remember it has to be your goal!

Goals are there to be embraced and enjoyed rather than avoided. And they can be fun - if we approach it in the right way.

Check on  Program in menu it will help you to set goals for success here

We all struggle with some detrimental habits that sneak up on us sometimes and get in the way of our effectiveness.  We all collectively waste our lives.

How?
We waste our lives with a lack of self-discipline.

As we know self-discipline is a skill. So, it is the ability to focus and overcome distractions. It involves acting according to what you know is right instead of how you feel in the moment.
And let do not forgot that It typically requires sacrificing immediate pleasure and excitement for what matters most in life.

So, what is lack of self-discipline?

 It is the ability to focus and overcome distractions!

We tell ourselves we are going to work on something, but then we don’t.When this happens to me, first I realize it, then I forgive myself for messing up, and then I am looking to find what’s really going on. Am I procrastinating for some reason? Am I distracted? Instead of telling myself that I’m “bad” or “undisciplined,” I try to productively uncover a more specific, solvable problem, and then address it.

What do you do if your life is in complete disarray, you have hardly any self-discipline, can’t stick to anything, procrastinate constantly, and feel completely out of control?

How do you start with building a healthy ritual of self-discipline?​

Start with small steps.

Such as making your bed, washing your teeth, washing your dishes, etc. Don’t leave any dirty dishes in the sink or on the counter for later. Wash them immediately. Then put your clothes where they belong when you take them off. 

Do one of these at a time, and you’ll start to build a healthy habit of  self-discipline, and finally know yourself to be capable of  finishing what you start.

Doing this you will find more balance in your life too.  Don't forget to download the free book Life balance and let me know how can I help more.

How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. - A. Dillard

Too often, life zips by. There's no time to experience what's happening now because you're busy thinking about what needs doing tomorrow or didn't happen yesterday. Your mind is tattle with commentary or judgment.

Thinking is essential to your life and it is not the enemy. Your mind is able to think back and reflect on the past as well your mind can think about the future. It can plan ahead and look forward to forthcoming events.

This ability is not always a blessing. Because sometimes you can get stuck in the past, you can also be paralysed by worries and anxiety about the future.

Mindfulness is a way to have a more helpful relationship with this thinking, to recognize when your thoughts are being unhelpful dragged back to the past or catapulted into the been and where you are going.

How can mindfulness be helpful in your everyday life?

We live in a stressful world, dealing with a flood of information, interruption and distraction, managing a job, a home and the variety of demands as you try to meet everyone's needs and your own communities. thinking about please what needs doing and what you didn't do, getting frustrated, stressed and anxious.

Unfortunately, a good part of our time passes that way for most of us. It is easy to stop noticing what's really going on within you and around you and to end up living in your head, caught up in your thoughts without being aware of how those thoughts are controlling what you feel and do.

Mindfulness enables you to experiences and appreciates your life instead of rushing through it, constantly trying to be somewhere else. Mindfulness is simply a shift in your awareness of your life, your routines and habits, work and relationships so you can live in more balance.

There are many ways in which you can practice mindfulness and many ways in which you can anchor yourself to any given moment.

If you are ready to start your journey to find a practical way, ideas, tips, and suggestions to be mindful and to use mindfulness talk to Galina
​

If you search in google for a Life Balance you will find so many talks about work balance. Honestly, there is no work balance but just life balance.

It does sound like these are two opposites that exclude each other or the only two things our lives consist of. Work is as much a part of life as are our families, friends, hobbies, etc. Balancing all these things is what makes us who we are, and more than that, it can make us happy.

Life is basically everything that happens to us. Your personal life looks more like a mindset than a real problem.

Someone once said: I don’t believe you have work-life balance. You have a life balance, where everything you do complements your life’s work. 

This approach helps to set priorities!

We often forget that it’s no longer so important when you need to prove you’re good enough at your job. It’s the time when being physically and emotionally healthy is much important than being miserable but with a big bank account and an even bigger ego.

So, be realistic, understand your needs and desires and build your life according to it. In order to do this, you need to admit you have a problem.

It’s not up to your work to make your life better. Your happiness lies in your hands. Only you know how to make your workday effective.

What you have to do is: Respect yourself. Set boundaries. Have some time for yourself.

Admitting to having a problem with balancing your work and leisure is definitely a step forward. You are a human being and Iyou are not a perfect creature with a 100% productivity.

A balanced life starts with small wins. If you find yourself inside chaos start with organized.

You are the creator of your Life Balance! 

If you are ready to develop a mindset of confidence I create three steps for you, click here to see more.

The fear of a possible future bad “what if” scenario, does not provide lasting motivation.

What does serve the process of long-term change is flipping the goal into something positive, like feeling confident, strong and healthy, and to be able to resume former activities and physical hobbies.

In the long run, being pulled towards the good serves better than running from the bad. Talk less about your fears and more about your vision. Yes, you may, in fact, be afraid of dropping dead. And, you may be sick and tired of being sick and tired. But give equal or greater attention to what you would like to see for yourself, and how you can be a good role model rather than a bad example.

When we do something positive, we are naturally removed from the negative.

Similarly, when the “bad” has been internalised to oneself and the motivation to change comes from thoughts such as: “I’m not thin enough, disciplined enough, healthy enough, pretty enough, successful enough, rich enough, popular enough, worthy enough, etc.” then this comes from a place of need, of lacking. Whatever you are, feeling that it’s just not “enough” originates in fear and creates the emotion of inner shame. That is toxic to the process of healthy change.

Well-Being Is Whole Being.

Shame disconnects us from others and also from ourselves. Disconnection is the diametric opposite of wholeness, a connection is the very mainspring of well-being. It should be self-evident that we can’t use persistent negativity to bring about a desired positive result, but we just keep falling into the trap. No matter how we try, we cannot shame and blame ourselves (or anyone else) into personal growth.

What Do You Want More Than You Don’t Want?

So what does that mean? Motivation to change may very well be sourced in the avoidance of an undesirable outcome or overcoming something negative.

 For example, if we grew up in a home filled with strife, we may be motivated not to repeat the patterns of hostility that we witnessed. It’s a “good” goal, but it’s also vague and undefined. It is much more powerful—and much more likely to produce results—when we flip that into the positive and create the goal of creating a home imbued with positive, loving connection and unconditional positive regard. Then we can take actual concrete steps to bring that about.