Cope with Stress
4 Simple Steps to Help YOU TO Cope with Stress and Stressful Feelings
Step 1) BREATHE
Pause and take a few deep breaths - making sure to breathe deeply into your stomach. It can be really helpful to place your feet flat on the floor and place a hand on your stomach - and feel your stomach rising and falling. TIP: Sometimes this first step is enough on its own.
Step 2) NOTICE, WITHOUT JUDGEMENT,
What you are feeling. It could be overwhelmed, guilty, pressured, stressed, anxious etc. Now, Say out loud, "I'm feeling ....
If you feel you judging yourself, repeat the statement until you do not judge yourself.
Step 3) Now AFFIRM yourself, preferably out loud, with a supportive affirmation or mantra. It could be one they create for yourself or one of the examples below
NOTE: you can use this mantra throughout the session or day, whenever you notice you are feeling anxious or stressed again
So, steps 1 - 3 of this technique help you to notice what you are feeling - without judgement - and be present so you can have an effective session with me or get on with your day in a calmer frame of mind. However, there may be an important message or learning in stress or difficult feelings. Therefore, I also recommend a final step to help cop cope with and learn from, your stressful feelings. This step proves that we can – and will – take care of ourselves. And as we get better at it, our stressful feelings become less burdensome in the future.
Step 4) REFLECT AND LEARN: Now is a good time to look at this feeling and take care of yourself? Commit to taking a few moments to reflect on your stressful feelings - it could be over a cup of tea when you are at home or before you go to bed. Please consider:
IMPORTANT NOTE: Avoiding our unpleasant feelings and stress may help us get through a difficult day or week, but it can be a destructive habit which actually increases our stress in the long run. Our feelings show us who we are - and when we avoid looking at what we feel we literally abandon our 'selves' - removing the ability to learn what our feelings are telling us. When we allow our feelings and look at them without judgement, we not only learn from them but we also find that our feelings 'move on' - because we've got the message - and they're not needed any more...
"She had finally allowed her negative feelings to surface, feelings that had been repressed for years in her soul. She had actually FELT them, and they were no longer necessary, they could leave." Paulo Coelho
Pause and take a few deep breaths - making sure to breathe deeply into your stomach. It can be really helpful to place your feet flat on the floor and place a hand on your stomach - and feel your stomach rising and falling. TIP: Sometimes this first step is enough on its own.
Step 2) NOTICE, WITHOUT JUDGEMENT,
What you are feeling. It could be overwhelmed, guilty, pressured, stressed, anxious etc. Now, Say out loud, "I'm feeling ....
If you feel you judging yourself, repeat the statement until you do not judge yourself.
Step 3) Now AFFIRM yourself, preferably out loud, with a supportive affirmation or mantra. It could be one they create for yourself or one of the examples below
- "I am doing my best."
- "I can handle this feeling – and manage my day."
- "This feeling of ___________ (overwhelm/anxiety/guilt etc) will soon pass."
- "I am safe, and I am loved. I can handle whatever I am feeling."
- "I love myself. I will take care of this feeling later today."
NOTE: you can use this mantra throughout the session or day, whenever you notice you are feeling anxious or stressed again
So, steps 1 - 3 of this technique help you to notice what you are feeling - without judgement - and be present so you can have an effective session with me or get on with your day in a calmer frame of mind. However, there may be an important message or learning in stress or difficult feelings. Therefore, I also recommend a final step to help cop cope with and learn from, your stressful feelings. This step proves that we can – and will – take care of ourselves. And as we get better at it, our stressful feelings become less burdensome in the future.
Step 4) REFLECT AND LEARN: Now is a good time to look at this feeling and take care of yourself? Commit to taking a few moments to reflect on your stressful feelings - it could be over a cup of tea when you are at home or before you go to bed. Please consider:
- "What's important about the feeling of __________ today?" and
- "What do I need to learn from this?"
IMPORTANT NOTE: Avoiding our unpleasant feelings and stress may help us get through a difficult day or week, but it can be a destructive habit which actually increases our stress in the long run. Our feelings show us who we are - and when we avoid looking at what we feel we literally abandon our 'selves' - removing the ability to learn what our feelings are telling us. When we allow our feelings and look at them without judgement, we not only learn from them but we also find that our feelings 'move on' - because we've got the message - and they're not needed any more...
"She had finally allowed her negative feelings to surface, feelings that had been repressed for years in her soul. She had actually FELT them, and they were no longer necessary, they could leave." Paulo Coelho
