Is having goals really necessary?

It's a great question. And one that's often asked by those who for one reason or another avoid having goals, even at the start of a new year.

Many people think goals are too restricting. Some people are afraid of failure or see the whole process of choosing and planning goal it's a bit scary, unnecessary or too unsettling. And others think it's much easier to just "go with the flow."

Goals should not be scary or restricting. Setting and achieving goals is simply a fantastic way of defining what you want to do or what you want to have more of—or less of—in your life. And then planning the path to make that happen.

Think about it. Have you ever set goals but never seem to achieve them? Do you ever get the feeling that you don’t get time to work on your goals? Or you feel overwhelmed and caught up in the daily routine of life that never accommodates for your goals?

The new year is here, and you should have already set your goals, but do not panic you can still do it if you did not. And this year—more than ever—we’re all ready to embrace the fresh, new year with the hope of what could be. And a huge part of that is goal setting.

Yes, most of our goals for 2020 was messed up, but we should not stay in negativity but start thinking it over and setting goals for 2021 

So this year, take some time to really think about those goals.  And remember, just having good intentions alone changes nothing.

Some benefits of goals

• Having goals means that you'll be the star in your own life. You get to direct events rather than have life's events direct you.
• A firm goal gives you a context to define and track your progress on the way to the desired outcome.
• Achieving a goal is a great reason to celebrate how far you've come.
• Carefully chosen, realistic goals can end the cycle of failure around hurried New Year's resolutions.
• Achieving a goal, however small, will increase your confidence to go forward to even bigger things.

Be Specific
What do you want to achieve?  Watch for any roadblocks that could keep you from reaching your goal.

Make Goals into a bit size
Give yourself daily, weekly and monthly steps. Set a time limit—because you need a finish line. Get them down on paper along with all the steps. 

Carefully planning the steps towards achieving your goal won't stop you from making mistakes and going up blind alleys, but it sure helps. 
Along the way, you may well change the substance of your goals, or how they'll be achieved, and this is normal. Goals give direction and focus to your journey through life. And remember it has to be your goal!

Goals are there to be embraced and enjoyed rather than avoided. And they can be fun - if we approach it in the right way.

Check my program it will help you to set goals for success here

We all struggle with some detrimental habits that sneak up on us sometimes and get in the way of our effectiveness.  We all collectively waste our lives.

How?
We waste our lives with a lack of self-discipline.

As we know self-discipline is a skill. So, it is the ability to focus and overcome distractions. It involves acting according to what you know is right instead of how you feel in the moment.
And let do not forgot that It typically requires sacrificing immediate pleasure and excitement for what matters most in life.

So, what is lack of self-discipline?

 It is the ability to focus and overcome distractions!

We tell ourselves we are going to work on something, but then we don’t.When this happens to me, first I realize it, then I forgive myself for messing up, and then I am looking to find what’s really going on. Am I procrastinating for some reason? Am I distracted? Instead of telling myself that I’m “bad” or “undisciplined,” I try to productively uncover a more specific, solvable problem, and then address it.

What do you do if your life is in complete disarray, you have hardly any self-discipline, can’t stick to anything, procrastinate constantly, and feel completely out of control?

How do you start with building a healthy ritual of self-discipline?​

Start with small steps.

Such as making your bed, washing your teeth, washing your dishes, etc. Don’t leave any dirty dishes in the sink or on the counter for later. Wash them immediately. Then put your clothes where they belong when you take them off. 

Do one of these at a time, and you’ll start to build a healthy habit of  self-discipline, and finally know yourself to be capable of  finishing what you start.

Doing this you will find more balance in your life too.  Don't forget to download the free book Life balance and let me know how can I help more.

How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. - A. Dillard

Too often, life zips by. There's no time to experience what's happening now because you're busy thinking about what needs doing tomorrow or didn't happen yesterday. Your mind is tattle with commentary or judgment.

Thinking is essential to your life and it is not the enemy. Your mind is able to think back and reflect on the past as well your mind can think about the future. It can plan ahead and look forward to forthcoming events.

This ability is not always a blessing. Because sometimes you can get stuck in the past, you can also be paralysed by worries and anxiety about the future.

Mindfulness is a way to have a more helpful relationship with this thinking, to recognize when your thoughts are being unhelpful dragged back to the past or catapulted into the been and where you are going.

How can mindfulness be helpful in your everyday life?

We live in a stressful world, dealing with a flood of information, interruption and distraction, managing a job, a home and the variety of demands as you try to meet everyone's needs and your own communities. thinking about please what needs doing and what you didn't do, getting frustrated, stressed and anxious.

Unfortunately, a good part of our time passes that way for most of us. It is easy to stop noticing what's really going on within you and around you and to end up living in your head, caught up in your thoughts without being aware of how those thoughts are controlling what you feel and do.

Mindfulness enables you to experiences and appreciates your life instead of rushing through it, constantly trying to be somewhere else. Mindfulness is simply a shift in your awareness of your life, your routines and habits, work and relationships so you can live in more balance.

There are many ways in which you can practice mindfulness and many ways in which you can anchor yourself to any given moment.

If you are ready to start your journey to find a practical way, ideas, tips, and suggestions to be mindful and to use mindfulness talk to Galina
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If you search in google for a Life Balance you will find so many talks about work balance. Honestly, there is no work balance but just life balance.

It does sound like these are two opposites that exclude each other or the only two things our lives consist of. Work is as much a part of life as are our families, friends, hobbies, etc. Balancing all these things is what makes us who we are, and more than that, it can make us happy.

Life is basically everything that happens to us. Your personal life looks more like a mindset than a real problem.

Someone once said: I don’t believe you have work-life balance. You have a life balance, where everything you do complements your life’s work. 

This approach helps to set priorities!

We often forget that it’s no longer so important when you need to prove you’re good enough at your job. It’s the time when being physically and emotionally healthy is much important than being miserable but with a big bank account and an even bigger ego.

So, be realistic, understand your needs and desires and build your life according to it. In order to do this, you need to admit you have a problem.

It’s not up to your work to make your life better. Your happiness lies in your hands. Only you know how to make your workday effective.

What you have to do is: Respect yourself. Set boundaries. Have some time for yourself.

Admitting to having a problem with balancing your work and leisure is definitely a step forward. You are a human being and Iyou are not a perfect creature with a 100% productivity.

A balanced life starts with small wins. If you find yourself inside chaos start with organized.

You are the creator of your Life Balance! 

If you are ready to develop a mindset of confidence I create three steps for you, click here to see more.

The fear of a possible future bad “what if” scenario, does not provide lasting motivation.

What does serve the process of long-term change is flipping the goal into something positive, like feeling confident, strong and healthy, and to be able to resume former activities and physical hobbies.

In the long run, being pulled towards the good serves better than running from the bad. Talk less about your fears and more about your vision. Yes, you may, in fact, be afraid of dropping dead. And, you may be sick and tired of being sick and tired. But give equal or greater attention to what you would like to see for yourself, and how you can be a good role model rather than a bad example.

When we do something positive, we are naturally removed from the negative.

Similarly, when the “bad” has been internalised to oneself and the motivation to change comes from thoughts such as: “I’m not thin enough, disciplined enough, healthy enough, pretty enough, successful enough, rich enough, popular enough, worthy enough, etc.” then this comes from a place of need, of lacking. Whatever you are, feeling that it’s just not “enough” originates in fear and creates the emotion of inner shame. That is toxic to the process of healthy change.

Well-Being Is Whole Being.

Shame disconnects us from others and also from ourselves. Disconnection is the diametric opposite of wholeness, a connection is the very mainspring of well-being. It should be self-evident that we can’t use persistent negativity to bring about a desired positive result, but we just keep falling into the trap. No matter how we try, we cannot shame and blame ourselves (or anyone else) into personal growth.

What Do You Want More Than You Don’t Want?

So what does that mean? Motivation to change may very well be sourced in the avoidance of an undesirable outcome or overcoming something negative.

 For example, if we grew up in a home filled with strife, we may be motivated not to repeat the patterns of hostility that we witnessed. It’s a “good” goal, but it’s also vague and undefined. It is much more powerful—and much more likely to produce results—when we flip that into the positive and create the goal of creating a home imbued with positive, loving connection and unconditional positive regard. Then we can take actual concrete steps to bring that about.

We all have many aspirations and goals in our lives. We want to succeed in multiple realms simultaneously; we work to advance our career, our relationships, our health and fitness, and our values. It often seems that we struggle to keep a healthy balance between all of our sometimes conflicting aspirations. We should organise and prioritise our values.

There are four general pursuits we value:
1. Wisdom,
2. Character,
3. Physical strength and Health,
4. Wealth,

Naturally, these values will conflict and undermine each other. Too much of one will take away from the focus on the other.  In order for these values to create a wholesome life, they must be organised.​

It’s easy to make a case for balance because, without it, even our best intentions and most vigorous efforts can quickly become counterproductive and profoundly unsatisfying. The challenge with balance, of course, is not so much in talking about it, but in achieving it — and maintaining it over time.

When problems arise in a given sector of our life, it’s often a sign that an imbalance is present: We’re exercising too much, or not enough. 

We need to really look at any one area of our life,  evaluating whether it is appropriately balanced. We can then look across all these areas and ask, is there a balance between them? 

Successfully doing this kind of broad analysis requires a deep level of self-knowledge, because you must know and be comfortable with what “balanced” is for you.

The quality of our lives is a reflection of the investment we make. So if there’s something you don’t like, change it.

Our sense of balance comes from spending our time in a way that allows us to express most or all of our core values.

You can download my workbook to find out which arena needs to be improved!
 Click here

Wisdom, wealth and honour are positive things we may aspire to have. Not all of us are born with great intelligence. We may not be able to run marathons, and most of us are not born into richness or honour. Nevertheless, we each can acquire these virtues if we just re frame what these qualities truly mean.

• Who is wise? - He who learns from every person ...

Thirst for wisdom, and you will become wise. Realise that you can learn something from every person, and every encounter will increase your intelligence. The key is humility. 

Wisdom or sagacity is the ability to think and act using knowledge, experience, understanding, common sense and insight. Wisdom is associated with attributes such as unbiased judgement, compassion, experiential self-knowledge, self-transcendence and non-attachment, and virtues such as ethics and benevolence.

• Who is rich? - He who is happy with his portion ...

Material wealth is transient. The thrill of buying something new is lost with the itch of the next purchase. Only when we have inner contentment - realising that what we have is exactly what we need - can we be truly wealthy.

True wealth is having a sense of abundance – one that we experience rather than possess.

Seeking true wealth may mean seeking deeper relationships, more personal growth, or ways to create more meaning in life. Achieving true wealth means possessing the ability to enjoy the small, ordinary pleasures of life.

• Who is honoured? - He who honours others ... 

Respect others! We can only give to others what we possess, but each of us has that essential dignity to honour others.

The definition of honour is high respect, great reputation or high rank received or enjoyed.

We don’t choose our life’s circumstances, nor do we choose what talents or abilities we are born with. But we can control how we react to our circumstance.

By Galina Yanchova

The process of freedom takes on different forms. We may have freedom but still, be a slave.

Often, we need to freeing ourselves of our own slavery as the egos and the self-centeredness; the fears; the self-imposed limitations and false expectations.

The ramifications of corona have ramped everything up. So instead of soldering on, as we have, we must enlist a full battalion to contend with the emotional, mental, spiritual and physical compression this pandemic has placed upon us.

Leaving our own slavery begins with one decision and act. But in order to change involves several steps.

There is possibly hesitation. We step forward, preparing for active change. Then, sometimes, we stumble back and possibly have to begin the process again.

Once we are free, we need maintenance in order to sustain the new change. The behaviours, ideas and dynamics must be ingrained in our heart and soul. This can be ongoing.

1 Contemplation

We know we are fearful. We know we are addicted. We know we have a poor body image. We know we are in a dead-end relationship. And we know we are dying inside.
Limiting beliefs hold us back. Lack of support holds us back. The grand scale of change holds us back.

Once we realize the consequences of not leaving our own slavery, this phase shifts. Here, we connect with our core motivations and start getting excited about the possibility of freedom and movement towards a different reality.

2 Preparation

After this, we begin preparation for that new reality by taking small steps towards freedom.

We do research. What is the best way to change?

How has my body image become so distorted? Why do I continue to pretend everything is OK in this relationship? Why does my life feel so meaningless?

We tell friends and family we want to change. We make it public.

3 Action

Next, we activate our new change. We address obstacles that come up. We celebrate small successes.  

We treat setbacks as opportunities for awareness. We develop our action plan. We continue until small successes become larger shifts.

4 Maintenance

 We have changed. We have left our own slavery.

But we have to avoid situations that could trigger a relapse. We have to cultivate stress-management skills. We have to have refinement, awareness and mastery of our new reality.

True, it’s a lot of work, but it’s definitely worth it.

And now comes an opportunity to do the work. Why? Because most of us are being forced to stay home. We can do the groundwork, the steps. Our internal life has taken precedence over our external life.

Leaving enslavement is ongoing; it is a work in progress. But it’s far better than staying in place.

​
By Galina Yanchova

 
We all may have had a different idea of how we would live in 2020 and now we are in lock down.

It's also a good time to think about what you really want. Often there is a big discrepancy between what we want and what we really want. We need to find our own want. By looking deeper inside; by searching for what we really want.

The process is actually quite simple. Just ask yourself: “What do I want?”
And once you answer, ask again, “But what do I really want?”
Repeat the process until you get to the real answers.

What do I want?

To go to work.

What do I really want?

To have money.

But what do I really, really want?

To provide for my family.

You see, everything we want has layers upon layers to uncover. And persistence is vital. Because if we get stuck in the first layer, we miss the big and important picture.

Usually, deep inside, we all want to be connected. Connected to our family. Connected to our friends.

And if we keep this in mind, it will help us stay focused.

In our journey through life, we have many different kinds of experience. Some are happy and boisterous; some are more sombre; some are just dogged day-to-day getting through what has to be done; some are serene and moving; some are inspiring.

So what do we want?

For COVID-19 to go away.

What do we really want?

To get back to normal life.

What do we really, really want?

That there should be no more suffering in the world. That all the people in the world should work together to make the world a beautiful world.
​
We don't have control over this pandemic. We don't have control over when this lock down will end.

But we DO have control over how we respond. We can control how we will come out of this hurricane season.

We all have to adapt.  It is important to be flexible.

By Galina Yanchova

Wondering when lockdown will end, and what a post-COVID-19 world holds for the future of the workplace?

You are not alone. But in the meantime, if you are bored at home here are some productive things to do.

No matter if you’re at home or work, procrastination keeps you from accomplishing anything and makes you feel bad about yourself.

First, the thing that I did was to not panic, sit and create a plan on how to spend my money, how to save my money, (not buying stupidly), sit and talk with my family so everyone knows how and what we will do, and is on the same boat. Then we painted the walls in our house, we clean, we sort documents, and our wardrobes... 

So let see what you can do :

1.  Create a list of projects that you need to get done around the house and keep it somewhere visible. 
2.  Take care of some of your spring cleaning tasks. You can paint your house.
3.  Create a budget that you can stick to, helping you save more each month.
4.  Meditate for several minutes to let go of stress or worries. Knowing that there is a bigger energy in control.
5.  Spend more time with your family. Play table games...
6.  Donate old clothes to streamline your closet...
7.  Do something that you love. Finding a little time for yourself can boost your mood and help you stay productive afterwards.
8.  Cancel subscriptions to any services that you have not used in the last month, including gym memberships.
9.  Start a garden in your backyard or kitchen. 
10.  Start work from home.
11.  Learn new skills.
12.  Read a book...

When events happen which seem catastrophic, it is not only possible but very important for you to allow yourself to come to a place of calmness.

Panicking serves no one - not yourself, not the people who are suffering, nor the planet. Allow yourself to trust that there is a larger purpose and that it may not be necessary for you to know that purpose at this time. Allow yourself to have faith that ultimately, all will be well.

By Galina Yanchova